The Mom Diet

As a mom, it is pretty rare to actually sit down and eat a meal, and a well balanced meal at that.

When there is a lull in the day (if that ever happens, and some days this lull is nonexistent), it usually way past breakfast time to eat breakfast and/or way past lunchtime to eat lunch.

Sometimes, my mom diet goes like this: two bites of Pop-tart (because Ambria won't eat the ends because she thinks a Pop-tart has 'crust'), a few pretzels because they are left in a snack bowl, crust of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and I will eat a bite of mac and cheese to see if it is too hot (well, and chances are, I will take another bite).

There, that covers breakfast and lunch and probably dinner.

I have created a rule that applies to this kind of mom diet. If I eat food while standing or without a plate, the calories do not count.

Sounds good to me and I plan to put a copyright on this genius idea.

(Side note: For real, all these extra little 'bites' can add hundreds of calories to my/a/your diet every day. I try to NOT follow this "Mom Diet" but some days are busier so it is just easier to eat these leftovers on the run.)

Fairytale Bonding

The girls are watching old home videos of when Mariah (our firstborn) was a baby, and it joyously reminds me of the days leading up to her birth, her birth, and the months following her birth.

After over a year of trying to get pregnant and many months of tears, we were MORE than excited to find out that we were expecting our first child. This was something I had only dreamed about and now it was a reality!

The pregnancy was pretty uneventful, the delivery was ok, but what I want to focus on is the bond between me and Mariah.

On March 18, 2004 at 2:14pm, Mariah Grace entered the world and we were pleasantly surprised that she was a girl because I really had no feeling of which gender the baby might be (we chose to not find out). I was so excited to have a baby girl, and the reality of actually having a baby was here, and now, and no turning back. Dream come true, and love at first sight, right?

Well, love yes. I loved Mariah like crazy. I was so glad that she was here. Feeling connected and bonded...well, to be brutally honest.....no.

That's right, I said it. We did not have an instant bond.

I looked at her, she looked at me. I was a stranger to her and she was a stranger to me. Now that the baby is here, what do I do with her? A weird feeling, kind of surreal.

The first few months, I pretty much just felt like Mariah's caretaker. I fed her, changed her, held her, but was still feeling indifferent about this new addition. I might have had a little postpartum depression, but I just didn't feel this instant connection that I had so longed for, that I had heard and read about. I felt (and feel) guilty.

Mariah was born on a Thursday and that following Sunday we went to church. Mariah cried. What does this mean? This means that I have leave the service, that I can't do what I want to do, this means my needs and wants don't come first. Weird. For the first time in my life, I couldn't just think about myself. So, what did I do, I put her in the nursery. (Don't tell me about it, yes I feel horrible about it now). If I put her in the nursery, that means I can think about my desires and do what I want, which in this moment is sit in church. Argh! (Selfish, selfish).

So months went by. Yes, months. Finally, when Mariah was THREE MONTHS OLD, we had a once in a lifetime experience, a bonding experience that I will never forget. It was a sunny June day, and Mariah and I were out on the back deck, doing...nothing. For some odd reason, this day, it all clicked. Now, I felt that feeling that I thought I was 'supposed' to feel the day she was born. I felt like a mom. I felt like Mariah's mother and it was an incredible emotion! It was surreal, it was real, it was true, and I LOVED IT!

I am not exactly sure what happened that day, but it changed my relationship with Mariah forever. Am I weird that I wasn't like other moms that have this fairytale bond with their newborn instantly? Maybe yes, maybe no. What I do know is that I will always have a special and unique connection with Mariah and I LOVE being a mom!

(Stay tuned for blog posts about special bonds that I have with Ambria and Ashlyn).

Here is a picture that I hold near and dear to my heart.

This is THE DAY I felt that special connection with my first child.

I love you, Mariah Grace!

Weight Gainer 5000

Poor Ashlyn has been having digestive issues, and because of this, she hasn't been gaining sufficient weight. For the first 4 months, she was gaining a pound a month (pretty standard) but the last month or so, her weight gain has slowed to about an ounce a week. She weighed 11 pounds at her 6 month check-up. The doctor wrote a prescription for a new formula, Weight Gainer 5000, so we'll see if it helps.

No really, the formula is called Nutramigen, and it is lactose free and hypoallergenic. It is partially already digested and the proteins are already broken down.

Hoping that this helps Ashlyn's tummy, and watch out for little chub-o to make her debut in a few weeks. :)

Shrinky Dinks

When I was a child, we used to have a craft called Shrinky Dinks. Anyone remember these?! They were complete awesomeness. You color the little picture then put them in the oven for a few minutes and the picture shrinks up into a little hard plastic piece. The fun is watching them SHRINK!

For Christmas, the girls got Shrinky Dinks (they are making a come back). We (yes, we) had a blast making them and watching the oven closely to see the magic happen. I was proud of how my creation turned out. :)

I am already planning another trip to the store to buy more...for the girls... and me. :)

The Way She Sees It (Part 2)

A few months ago I wrote about Ashlyn's eyes (The Way She Sees It), and here is a quick update. She went to the pediatric eye specialist a few weeks ago and the doctor was amazing. She did very extensive testing and Ashlyn was very cooperative. The GOOD news, is that Ashlyn can see out of both eyes! Praise the Lord! The doctor did notice what we are noticing and she assured us that we weren't going crazy. (Phew, thanks doc). The doctor also reassured me that it was nothing that I did to cause this because as a parent we can sometimes blame ourselves for different problems that our children have. Ashlyn does have a few minor issues with her eyes and possible strabismus (cross eyes). The doctor isn't sure if it is true strabismus or psuedostrabismus (fake cross eyes just because of the way her eyes are shaped).

So, for now, the doctor is just going to wait it out and she wants to see Ashlyn back in three months to see if there is any improvement (of course, this is what we are hoping and praying for).