First Grade Dictionary

A few weeks ago, Mariah brought home her 1st Grade Dictionary that she used throughout her first grade school year. Each letter of the alphabet had a separate page and there were some words already typed in the dictionary. For example:

Aa: after, about, again, another, around

Bb: beautiful, because, before

Cc: children, called, city


On each page, there were also blank lines for the students to write in their own words.

As I flipped through Mariah's First Grade Dictionary, I saw that she only wrote in a few words....



Bb: butt

Jj: Justin Bebr (Bieber)

Pp: Poop, pee







We got a good laugh. I will be saving this dictionary in her keepsake box! Hahaha!

Ambria: "Is this for Ashlyn's butt?"

I Will Always Remember This Week

A year ago, unknowingly, my blood pressure was on the rise. The levels would land me in the hospital for a few days before the emergency induction of our premature baby girl.

Ashlyn's first birthday is next Sunday, June 19. I will forever remember the days leading up to her delivery. I spent a few days looking out at the mountains from the hospital window wondering when I would be discharged and put on bed rest, little did I know, this would not be the case.

I was put through countless tests, needle pokes, and ultrasounds to monitor myself and the baby. I remember my husband and the girls coming to visit me, the girls anxious and curious as to why I was in the hospital and not at home. I remember the nurses and doctors coming into my room at 2:00am saying that the tests did not come back good and they are taking me to labor and delivery to start the induction. From my new room, IV's were started and continuous meds were given, making me feel horrible, groggy, and nauseous.



Ashlyn was delivered, healthy and hungry. The moments following her birth as I hemorrhaged and lost consciousness. I remember in a blurred, cloudy vision, my husband pacing, crying, and praying, nurses running and doctors scurrying. After a while, I remember the doctor staring in my face, asking me questions that I was unable to answer. I was unable to hold my newborn baby girl because I was so weak.

Three days after we were released from the hospital, I was yet again back in the hospital for blood pressure that had spiked to higher levels than when I was pregnant. My eyes filled with tears as all I wanted to do was go home and be a family of five.

That was a year ago. We are grateful that my blood pressure is finally stabilized and that Ashlyn continues to grow and develop by leaps and bounds. This is a memorable week for me. We are blessed. We are blessed. We are blessed!

Ode to the Gerber Puff

**Gerber Puffs should be added to all restaurant appetizer menus.

**Gerber Puffs tag line should be: "Throw this tasteless miracle food at your kid and they will be happy and satisfied for at least five minutes...and then repeat process to satisfy your child again...because for some reason kids LOVE Puffs!"


**I carry a small container of Puffs in my purse, and in my car, and in the diaper bag, and if they would fit, I would put some in my husbands wallet too.


**The Gerber Puff can also be called "staller food." Aka: Stop crying because your food is not ready yet.


**I bet if these tasteless puffs were dipped in chocolate, adults would love them too.

Can You Hear Me?

It is not uncommon for me to hear Mariah and/or Ambria speaking loudly "AT" the television. They answer the questions that cartoon characters ask. They even respond to cartoon characters' commands without the characters saying "please."

Dora: (unnecessarily yelling) "SAY BACKPACK!"
My girls: BACKPACK! Backpack, backpack!

Go, Diego, Go has his own commands and list of questions, as does Little Einsteins, and on and on.

The point: MY GIRLS LISTEN!

Um, yeah, pretty frustrating when I am trying to get the girls to do something, like clean up their toys or clear the table, I EVEN SAY PLEASE, and they 'can't hear me' or they just plain don't want to listen to me.

At times, I feel like Dora has more leverage than me.

The Case of the Missing Tooth Fairy

This is not the normal "Hey, look, my kid lost their first tooth!" post.

Mariah lost her first tooth back in April. This was a memorable experience for the whole family as we waited patiently for Mariah to get "brave" and pull out her then 'hanging by a thread' tooth. She did it. We cheered.

As a mother, it was emotional for me as my oldest daughter reached yet another milestone.

That night, instead of placing the tooth under her purple pillow, Mariah placed the shiny tooth on her dresser. She did not want the Tooth Fairy to take this precious piece of her life. She didn't want the Tooth Fairy to fly off with her prized possession.

The Tooth Fairy did not show up. The Tooth Fairy did not steal the tooth out from under her. The Tooth Fairy did not have Mariah's permission to visit.

Mariah took her tooth to school for Show and Tell the following week and her teacher gave her a cool 'tooth necklace' to place her tooth in. Mariah came home from school skipping, smiling, and even more proud of her tooth, now inside the plastic necklace.

Mariah proudly shows me the necklace after school and opens it up to reveal her first tooth. She exclaims, "look, mom, there is A LOT more space in here for the rest of my teeth!"

What does this mean? Mariah wants to keep her teeth.

I asked Mariah if she ever plans to place her teeth under her pillow (not to catch the Tooth Fairy off guard) and she thought MAYBE she would after 5 or 10 teeth have fallen out and then she would put them ALL under her pillow and see what the Tooth Fairy would leave for her.

Interesting. Not the 'normal' Tooth Fairy story.

Unique and inventive...just like my Mariah.

As seen in this picture, Mariah has since lost ANOTHER tooth! Tooth #1 and Tooth #2 reside inside the plastic necklace to this day.

Strabismus Eye Patches

Ok, so we are going on almost two months of eye patch therapy (read on for details about how the patches have become a tasty treat). Some days we see an improvement in Ashlyn's eyes and some days seem like she has taken a few steps back. Before starting the patch therapy, we were noticing her eye crossing about 50% of the time, and now it seems like her eye is crossing 75% of the time (like I said, a few steps back). We will continue the patching until the middle of July and then go back to the specialist.

Here is a pretty cool new eye patch (but of course it is more expensive). It has glitter and sparkles on it!! Mariah and Ambria were jealous of this stylish piece of **bling**.
The first month or so of patching went well and Ashlyn tolerated them REALLY well....but....that wore off and now she HATES them!!! She attempts to rip them off within a few seconds of me putting on the patch, and most times she is successful.
Rip off first patch.
Take two.
Rip it off.
I get upset.
Money down the drain.
Try again.
Try to hold Ashlyn's hand, push her hand away, say 'no', distract her with snacks, distract her with toys, go outside.
No luck.

One day, Ashlyn was playing in the living room while wearing her eye patch. I walked in to check on her and she looked like she was up to no good. Upon closer inspection, she was eating something. I pry open her mouth to find...HER EYE PATCH! Ashlyn now rips off her eye patch ASAP and tries to EAT them. So, not only do I now have to try to keep the patch on her eye, I also have to make sure that if she does successfully tears it off and eats it, that she doesn't choke on it. Nice.

Eye patch therapy just got a little more difficult.
Our new idea and pretty much last resort: we put socks on her hands. I am sure it is only a matter of time before she learns to get the socks off too. Lovely.

Learning Numbers

Well, not exactly sure if this is considered great parenting or not, but Ambria has learned her numbers...thanks to the remote control.

Ambria: "Mom, what channel is Dora?"
Me: "2...9...5"
Ambria: "ok"

Ambria: "Mom, dad left the sports channel on."
Me: "Push 3...0...1"
Ambria: "ok"

Boom. She knows her numbers. :)

Thief.

I just ate Goldfish crackers off of Ashlyn's highchair tray.

And, I didn't say please or thank you.

Happy, Sad, or Mad

A few years ago, we started doing something at the dinner table. Every night (or whenever we all sit down to eat dinner together, usually 3-4 times a week) we ask these three questions:

1. What made you happy today?
2. What made you sad today?
3. What made you angry today?

Each person in the family, even me and my husband, gets a chance to speak and everyone else has to be polite and listen.

Of course, this can prove to be interesting on some occasions. When we started this tradition, Ambria was just learning to talk. We would ask her what made her happy, and her response was, "happy." On other days, we get looonngg drawn out stories from Mariah about good and/or bad things that happened at school and who her best friend of the day is, or what new club has been started and what friend was left out.

We learn new things are each member of the family.

The girls learn that mom and dad have emotions too.
We learn more about each of the girls' personalities, likes, and dislikes.
We learn about events at school.
We learn to respect each family member and validate their feelings.

I really enjoy this tradition. I can only imagine that stories will get more interesting as the girls get older, well, I guess if they don't refuse to talk and have an attitude...

Going Solo to the Grocery Store

I liken a trip alone to the grocery store to a short vacation.

Funny, but really, pretty much true when you have young kiddos.

This is what grocery shopping by myself looks like:

*not taking forever to get kids unloaded from the van and into the shopping cart
*not having to look for and disinfect a shopping cart with one of those cool drivable pretend cars attached to the front of it.
*not having to push a gigantic shopping cart with one of those cool cars attached to the front of it
*not having to attempt to shove a Puff into the baby's mouth every 30 seconds while trying not to interrupt our forward momentum and slow our pace
*not continuously telling a child to stay in the cart at all times and keep hand and feet inside the vehicle
*having no kids means I can take my time, I can look at food options, I can look at my coupons, I can notice new products, and did I mention, take my time
*I don't have to worry about getting home before nap time, lunch time, crabby time, bed time, etc.

The downside to shopping alone:
*no cute kiddos to smile, coo, and talk to
*I can't blame talking to myself on the kids and just act like I was pretending to talk to them when in all actuality, I was audibly talking to myself about which kind of cereal I should buy or if that produce looks and feels ripe enough. (Oh, and don't worry, I felt pretty stupid when I noticed a man staring at me while I was chatting to myself. Feelin' pretty sweet).

Eye Patches

We are still experimenting with different brands of eye patches for Ashlyn. What is there to experiment? If she has any allergic reaction to the adhesive, if her eyebrow gets torn off, if the area around her eye becomes red from irritation, etc.

So far so good. I have been using Aquaphor Lip Repair (aka chapstick) on her eyebrow before I apply the patch just in case the patch takes off her eyebrow. That seems to be working well. We have received some cute samples of eye patches so we are having fun with different patterns and styles on the patches and we have some more coming in the mail. (I usually let the big sisters pick out which patch they want Ashlyn to wear). I want to try different brands before I place an order.

Ashlyn is doing ok wearing the patch. She gets a little frustrated when she tries to rub her eye and she only cries a little when it is time to pull it off. I wince.

It is early into the patch therapy but we haven't noticed a difference in her eyes yet. We are still praying.

Photograph Worth More than Words

For some reason, I love this picture. Earlier this week, we were all outside enjoying the spring sunshine. We had a picnic in the yard, the girls had wind blown hair, dirty feet, and sticky hands from drippy popsicles (and I was trying to stay calm about the dirt crusted feet and red popsicle drool down their chins realizing that the girls WILL get clean in the bath later andI was trying to tell myself just to enjoy the moment and let the girls have fun).

So, this picture says so much more than the actual events:

This is how the shot went:
Me: (I place Ashlyn between her big sisters)
"Now, girls, look at the camera. Ashlyn! Ashlyn! Ashlyn! Ambria, put the umbrella down. Ok, Ambria then just peek at me from behind the umbrella. Mariah, turn around. Mariah, please turn around."

Girls: no response and/or opposite response for what I was looking for and/or wanted for this cute little picture of the three girls having a picnic.

Great.

Although I didn't get the girls sitting all cute on the blanket, what the photograph encompases is so much more. The picture expresses all three of the girls' personalities.

In one word:

Ambria: shy
Ashlyn: spoiled
Mariah: stubborn

I will look back on this priceless photograph for many years to come and I will be able to remember the stages each of the girls were in during the time of this shot.

I love it and I love them.

Fashion Consultant

This is how I chose what clothes to wear today:

I stood in front of my closet and posed the question, "now, which shirt can get snot all over it?"

Boom, decision made.

Time Away

Sometimes I just need some time away from the girls (a normal feeling but feelings of guilt can also intrude). My husband is very sweet, considerate, and sensitive of me needing time alone, and it also gives him some quality time with the three girls so he can get more than enough of his fill of estrogen.

Last night was one of those nights...

As I drove out of the driveway, I audibly cheered.
I didn't turn on any music.
I just drove and relaxed in the quiet.
I smiled.
(and I think I even cheered again).

Baby Blue Eyes

What are the chances....of having THREE girls?
What are the chances...of having THREE girls with all different eye colors??!

Mariah has hazel eyes.
Ambria has brown eyes.
Ashlyn has blue eyes.

Unique.

Just like each of them.

Strabismus

Here is yet another update about Ashlyn's eyes. I have written two other posts, The Way She Sees It and The Way She Sees It Part Two, and here is a third post.

Ashlyn went back to the eye specialist last week, and the good news is that her vision is still great, yay!

The not so good news: Three months ago, the doctor wasn't sure if her eye crossing was 'real' or 'fake' (pseudo) because of the way her eyes were shaped. Well, unfortunately, at this appointment we found out that her eye crossing is not fake and she does have crossed eyes, or technically called strabismus. Kids do not outgrow this condition.

At this point, we have two options to help Ashlyn's eyes (her left eye is the one that is crossing), we can try glasses with prism lenses to help her left eye focus better or we can try patching her right eye. I tried to make the best decision I could, weighing the pros and cons for Ashlyn. I chose the patching for a few months. We have to patch her right eye for a few hours every day and then revisit the specialist in three months.

So, not HORRIBLE news, but hopefully her left eye will straighten out with the help of the patch. And of course, I had to get cute little eye patches. :) I found some cute eye patches at ortopadusa.com and myipatches.com (for anyone looking for resources and/or patches for strabismus in young children).

Oh the Joys of Flying a Kite

We bought a new kite for the girls, nothing too extravagant, just a cheap kite. We tried many windy days to get this stupid thing in the air.
Unsuccessful.
Unsuccessful.
Unsuccessful.
Successful!!!
We did it! A few days ago, my husband got the kite to fly high in the sky. Awesome. He let Mariah hold the strings. Then he let Ambria hold the strings.

"AMBRIA, COME BACK! DON'T RUN TOWARD THE TREES!" The kite is now stuck in a tree.
Unsuccessful.

Just Another Classic Picture

I think this picture screams, "mom, we are sick of you and your camera!"

Second Child Bonding

I posted a few months ago about the special bond I have with Mariah, our firstborn, called Fairytale Bonding, and I also wanted to write about the special bond that I have with Ambria, our middle child.

Today is Ambria's 4th birthday! I can't believe she is four already! So, as I sit her and reflect on Ambria's day of birth, it also brings me to recollect the craziness of her labor and delivery. Unlike our first child, I feel that my bonding with our second child began earlier, of course during pregnancy, but I think there was even some bonding during labor and delivery.

We did not find out the gender of baby #2. We were excited and prepared for either a boy or girl. I had a doctor appointment earlier in the day on March 20 and in the evening, we were just hanging out at the house. My husband challenged me to a game of ping pong in the basement so all three of us went downstairs. As he was getting ping pong set up, my water broke!! I was shocked and then I started laughing and ran upstairs to get ready to leave the house. We dropped off Mariah at my sister in laws home and arrived at the hospital at 9:00pm.

My contractions had barely started and I was going to walk around the hospital after we got all check in, but I stood up and my contractions got SUPER hard. I sat back down and stayed put. The contractions were fast and furious. I was excited at how quickly things were progressing. I was more excited than scared. I couldn't wait to meet the new baby!

I opted for the epidural but by the time the anesthesiologist finished, I layed back down and demanded to get checked again because I thought I had dialated more. Yup, I had. I was at a 10! The anesthesiologist was still in the room when the baby was born!! Did the epidural work?? Probably not. It didn't have time to kick in. We all screamed "It's a Girl!" and were super excited to meet our new daughter. I felt an instant connection. Ambria was born at 12:23am on March 21, 2007.

With the second child, I was more prepared for what motherhood was all about. I "knew" how I was supposed to feel. I "knew" what to do with a newborn. I was a mom, and now I was a mom again. I didn't go from not being a parent to becoming a parent like with the first child. Not that I "knew" everything there was to being a mom, but I felt...well, more enjoyment in those first moments after Ambria's birth. It was a party. I can actually say labor and delivery was fun! I was excited to take on this new challenge of having two children...and two girls at that.

Unlike the unusual delayed bonding I had with Mariah, I had an instant bond with Ambria. The first few days and weeks were more enjoyable. Do I love Ambria more because of this? Obvsiously, no, but it was just different. This experience was probably more like the "fairytale bonding" that women "expect" when they have a baby. The fairytale bonding started earlier with Ambria than it did with Mariah...and that is ok.

Happy Birthday, Ambria Faith! I love you!

You can read about how we chose the name Ambria in a post called What's In a Name.

And stay tuned for yet another post on bonding with baby #3 as I write about the bond I have with Ashlyn.

A Bad Dream

The other night Mariah (almost 7 years old) had a fever in the middle of the night. Due to this fever, she had a continuous nightmare that would not leave her alone. (As a child, the only time I had nightmares was when I was sick and each time, it was the SAME dream. To this day, if I am sick, I have the SAME nightmare that I had when I was a child. Weird).

In the middle of the night, Mariah ran to my bedside and woke me up, all out of breath and in tears. My heart broke for her. We went and got a drink of water, I tucked her back in bed, and left a little light on for her.

Not even five minutes passed, and Mariah was back at my bedside.

My heart broke for her so I went and laid in her bed with her. I wanted to take this nightmare from her. I attempted to calm her down, rub her head, talk about different, random things to get her mind off her dream, but every time she closed her eyes, the nightmare occurred again.

It was difficult for me because I could not take this dream from her. Dreams are weird because they aren't very tangible, you can't give a child medicine to take away a bad dream like you can give them medicine to take away a headache.

This isn't very earth-shattering, but the girls have never had major nightmares before (thankful for that), so this is new for how I am processing it.

I wanted to just be able to give Mariah a band aid to make the dream go away. I wanted to give her a kiss and have the nightmare magically disappear, but I couldn't.

Game of Ups and Downs

Playing board games with a 3 year old is a challenge in itself. Ambria wanted to play Chutes and Ladders, you know, the 'classic game of ups and downs for preschoolers?' Ok, let's give this a try. (We've played Candy Land before, but not Chutes and Ladders).

Choosing which game piece to be wasn't too arduous of a task. There are two girl pieces and two boy pieces. She quickly chose a girl without too much trouble. Phew, got through that decision without wasting too much time.

Next, Ambria spun the spinner and landed on 4. She moved four. I spun and moved three. We are off to a good start.

This only lasted for a few minutes until Ambria realized that going down the 'slides' would be FUN so that is all she wanted to do, not realizing that the 'slides' are counterproductive if you want to advance numerous spaces to win the game. Ahh, the life and mind of a three year old. Yep, slides are fun in real life, so they must be the best part and advantageous in the board game too. This simple board game is lying to my child. :)

So, (1) we have the distraction by the fun slides
and (2) we are upset by the number 5.

Ambria landed on 5 numerous times as she spun the little colorful spinner, but she HAD to spin again because "I DON'T LIKE FIVE, UGH!" followed by a stomp, stomp, stomp around the living room.

Are we having fun yet?!

Let's just say we didn't finish the game. Ambria got to space #15 and I made it (barely) to space #12 and the board game has 100 spaces.

Ok, ok, winning isn't the point of the game, having fun is, right?! So, did we have fun...???

Chutes and Ladders truly is a game of ups and downs for preschoolers AND adults. Thanks Milton Bradley.

Artificial Love

Ashlyn is 8 months old now and she has two new best friends. I am pretty sure she loves these two MORE than me!!

Introducing...

Ashlyn's eyes light up when she sees her new best friends from across the room. She squeals with delight. She kicks her feet. She holds them tightly. She kisses them.

Humph. Well, best friend butterfly and Mr. Frog got nothin' on me! They can't feed Ashlyn a bottle. They can't change her diaper. They can't hold her. They can't give her a million kisses a day. They only have artificial love.

Ashlyn, I win this competition. Even if it seems like you enjoy their company more, I LOVE YOU MORE than butterfly and Mr. Frog!

Finders Keepers

Ashlyn is finally ready for her highchair (we actually have one of those seats that hooks onto a normal chair for space saving reasons). So, what this means is, wahoo, I get to clean that old crusty, nasty thing from when Ambria used it last, probably 2+ years ago.

Hmm, let's just say it wasn't pretty. I gagged a few times and brown and black sludge spewed from the seams.

Good as new.

Ashlyn will never know the seat was a hand-me down from Ambria AND Mariah. Her sisters left her a thoughtful gift: 6 years of crumbs.

Pieces of Me

Parenting is quite a journey: ups, downs, smiles, frowns. For the most part, I 'signed up' for most aspects of the responsibilty and the honor of becoming a parent, but where is the handbook for the parts of parenting that I didn't sign up for? Where are the 10 steps to overcome these difficult times? Where are the how to's for when the unexpected happens?

Jerry and I were watching tv last night, and about an hour after Jerry tucked in the girls and kissed them good-night, out walks Mariah. From just the glow of the television, I looked into her eyes. They were red, puffy, teary, and bloodshot. My heart sank. I immidiately realized that she had been sobbing for an hour, since we turned out the light and told the girls "I love you." Her tiny body was shaking and she attempted to talk in between deep, choppy breaths.

As I gazed into her eyes, my heart continued to sink. I saw a piece of me when I was a little girl in her.

I saw a piece of me in her.
I saw a piece of me in her.

All I could do was hold her. I want to hold her forever.

I didn't sign up for THIS part of parenting. I didn't sign up for the days when my children break my heart. I didn't sign up for the days when I can't put my child's heart back together. I want to kiss her and make all her boo boos of life go away.

As my heart fell to pieces, I fell to my knees...and didn't and don't know how to pray.